Our bond.

This past week or so you have been doing something that is so out of character for you. I have been trying so hard to implement some sort of schedule for you and it has been working out really well. Each night I have planned out your naps, bottles, and baths so perfectly that you are ready for bed at your perfectly suited bedtime. Each night...after your bath and after you get dressed I give you a nice warm bottle. While drinking that bottle you can hardly keep your eyes open. As soon as you have finished I throw you over my shoulder in an attempt to get a burp out of you and with that the miracle happens. You fall asleep on my shoulder. Your pudgy little blue eyed face just passes out right next to mine. I can feel your breath on my neck and you are so close that I feel the need to kiss you over and over. You have never been the calmest of babies and certainly never at ease enough to just fall asleep like this. You take your puny little left arm and wrap it so tight around my neck. The first time you did this I had absolutely no desire to put you in your cribby. I just wanted to hold you like this and absorb this moment for fear I would never again know this feeling. I have never felt so close to you and so in love. I remember thinking "No wonder the other moms I know talk about their babies in such a way that made me jealous". I wished that I had that sort of bond with you. But when you laid your perfect little beautiful head down on my shoulder and wrapped your arm around me and just fell asleep it all just fell into place for me. The feeling that I had been longing for had suddenly taken over me. I love you so much. You have done this several nights now and I am at a loss for words. When telling the story to Daddy I tear up and tell him that he should be jealous too. It is a feeling unlike any other and I just can not get enough. Despite your crazy little crab attitude you really and truly are the most amazing little woman and I could not imagine my life with out you. Although I know it's better when I lay you down in your cribby awake I still secretly cross my fingers each day that your chubby little cheeks will lay themselves down on my shoulder and just pass out. Your limp little body in my arms and your hand in my hair is the most amazing and irreplaceable feeling in the whole world! I love you Reese.